There are apparently as many paths to Enlightenement as there are flowers in my garden. Admittedly my humble garden only consists of an old window box but millions of flowers grow there in happy profusion anyway. There are more flowers growing there than I have dreams and that's saying something. Yes, but as to the innumerable paths to the final goal here are just some of them; the path of love, the path of wisdom, the path of transcendental purity, the path of knowledge, the path of tantra, the path of sorcery, the path of wizardry and withcraft, the path of music, trance and dance, the path to Nirvana by staring at your belly button, the path of staring at someone else's belly button, mystic meditation in the monastery of the moving mind, unification with the universe by all means possible, ying yang, bing bong, ting tang, zing zong, riding high above the thunderclouds to count the stars, hitching a ride on a meteor to climb into the heavens to meet the supreme diety itself, bribing angels to enter the Pearly Gate., All these are paths and all these are groovy.
However although all these paths can provide the perfect answer to Life, the Universe and Everything, the Idiot's Path goes one further by making you remember where you lost your wallet and even which bus it was on. It can also tell me when it's time to have a bath. All these different paths are wonderful and all are equal but none are as amazing as Metta-Morph-Aziz, the Idiot's Path to Enlightenment. Quite simply, the Idiot's Path is a combination of all the above but with the magic sprinkling of foolishness and idiocy peppered generously over the cosmic pizza and poppadums which can only be bought from the take aways of the countless Zindian restaurants in Brickie Lane. By plummeting into the central artery of the Lost Catacombs of Brickie Lane through the tandoori ovens of the restaurants themselves, you enter the incredible underworld and find yourself in a universe where nothing can be taken for granted and the only real take away is your astounded breath. This is where practising the Idiot's Path comes truly alive. Here, it isn't the accumulation of knowledge that's the key to Nirvana, it actually the very reverse. Everything is dropped like yesterday's dirty knickers and its only with an open mind with nothing in it that knowledge can really begin. Only an open mind is empty and ready for filling up with love, laughter, wonder and enchantment. And it is here, greatly helped by greedy gulpings of Anatta, the most magical potion ever made, that the Idiot's Path becomes truly alive. The rules of the game and the Idiot's Path are quite simple and given below.
The Four Holy Rules
1. You're never alone in being alone
2. Laughter is the first language
3. All roads lead to home (eventually)
2. What you see is what you get...what you get depends on you
The Four Humble Truths
1. Freedom is a basic necessity
2. Freedom will not come by waiting
3. Because Freedom will not come by waiting it has to be sought for, fought for and won
4. Freedom does not come for free...there's always a price
The Three Serene Sillinesses
1. Time flies like an arrow
2. Fruit flies like a banana
3. Dragon flies straight for the heart
The Three Magic Mantras
Read the book and find out.... I'm not telling!
Remember the path to Nirvana is flooded with flowers.... its all very easy but practice always makes perfect. So start being an idiot right now and dont miss out!
